Changes...

Change for me has always been real hard. When I was little I never even changed my clothes unless my mom made me. I slept in a old John Deer tractor T-shirt of my dads until it was so full of holes my mom had to throw it away. When my little brother Jeremy had heart surgery and my mom and dad were gone at the hospital for a week I wore the same dress everyday to school.My grandpa Warnke tried getting me to change by going up to our house and getting a clean dress ,but nope I refused. I never changed my room around on my own(I was sometimes forced to and I would cry for days),I still have blankets and such that I had on my bed when I was living at home.They dont have holes in them so why change and get ride of them?? Now as I have gotten older I have had to accept change in many ways.Moving away from home after I got married(yep that was hard),moving 7 times after I got married(never moved as a child,dad and Sue still live where I was raised),mom getting sick and losing my best friend,she was no longer able to shop,talk on the phone or just laugh and have a good time like before)...she was one of my greatest friends!!,Losing both my Grandmas(my Grandma Warnke.. I was very close to and she passed away 6 months before my mom),losing my mom,my sisters growing up without a mom,dad remarrying......God has been with me through it all and has NEVER let me down.He has always strengthened me and helped me accept the change. I now know that change has to happen..and I try be better with it...but right now I feel overwhelmed with change...Leons boss MAY BE shutting down his business and moving out of the state...for the first time since Leon and I have met he may be without work...we put our house on the market..we all LOVE living here and do NOT want to sell but feel it is best to prepare to possibly being without a job(get ride of our mortgage payment) and now to top it off Leon has left to work in Idaho...our first stay away to deal with since we have been married...17 yrs! I know We have been greatly blessed!! I try stay focused on that but as I said change just doesnt sit well with me...I hate the thought that for 3 months I wont be getting Leon off to work,making his breakfast or lunch,that he wont be eating suppers with us and his chair will be empty....like I said I know we have been blessed and I am so very thankful he does have work...I know others have been here but it is something new for us...so it is hard! Hard on my kids too...Chancy and Liberty are taking it the hardest....Please say a prayer for us.. I want to be positive and strong!